Girl Time

gift registry- cards a no no, invitations all electronic- evite
coffee? no, busy, just email me a copy
A new aspect of technology has been brought to my attention lately, and I have to say, it is becoming a personal pet peeve. How technology is interfering with my girl time these days is annoying, and the new ways to plan a GNO are getting to be way more complicated than it should be. Trying to plan a girls night out consists of every form of technology we have these days. You text to find a date that works, then call to see a time that's best, then email a reminder for the flaky friends. It gets exhausting! I miss the days where we just called each other and set a date and time, and everyone would show up because we all wrote it down in our day timers. Those days are long gone.
I am starting to plan my baby shower, and invitations are my next thing on my list. I have all of my friends phone numbers, I have the majority of my friends email addresses, but I was surprised by how few recent home addresses I have for my friends. My mother and I were sitting down with my best friend who is helping with he shower, and we were talking about the best way to get the addresses. My friend mentioned that the email addresses we don't have we can most likely find on Facebook, so why don't we just look there and send out Evites instead. My mother had no idea what she was talking about.
It took us a few minutes to explain the Evite system, and we tried to pump it up as much as possible focusing on the convenience factors, and how you can RSVP right online and how the responses get sent directly back to you- but no chance. My mother thought that an email for an invitation was completely inappropriate and that the member of our family would not only think it was a tacky gesture, but that the majority of them would be flat out offended by it.
I have to stop and assume that the difference in opinion is strictly generational, and has a lot to do with the fact that my mother does not even have an email account. She does not get the convenience, because she has never experienced it. My mother's friends are the type of gals who send elaborate invitations to every event- form a Superbowl party to a BBQ, you get a 3D invite in the mail, addressed in calligraphy. The idea to send an electronic invitation was way beyond her realm of thinking.
A baby shower is up there with a wedding in my opinion, as far as invitations go. I have received Evites for informal events, such a s BBQ's or sorority alumni events, but never for a wedding or baby shower-- yet.
Apparently the up and coming trend is Wedding Evites. Ashlee Simpson was the first to attempt the fad, and things did not go well in Hollywood. Critics called her "Trashlee Simpson" and claimed that her Alice in Wonderland theme was completely turned tacky thanks to her email invitation attempt. Had she sent "real" invitations with elaborate ribbon or paper, the event would have been perceived differently.
As with text messages, a message can get lost in translation or be taken completely different than meant. Evites are the same way. The wrong impression can be given by the wrong invitation, and Evites have been labeled as improper for formal affairs and impersonal for intimate events.
Another problem with Evites is receiving them. It is hard to miss a huge, odd shaped envelope mixed in with bank statements in your mail, but to skip over an email that claims, "You're invited!" can be easy to do. In this day and age, we all have so many accounts that we do our business with, how do we know at the end of the day who we have given what address to? There are very few accounts of my own that I check regularly, and I have to admit, I have missed a few last minute BBQ's because of it.
So this is where the etiquette question comes in. What is considered an appropriate affair to send an Evite for? And if you do send an Evite, what is the method of contact for those who do not have an email address? For example, with my baby shower, if I do choose (which at this point is NOT an option) to send Evites out, then do I send regular invitations to my grandmother and older relatives that might not be as technologically savvy as my college aged friends? And as long as I am doing invitations, do I send them to the people I sent Evites to as well? Or do I sen Evites and call the others? I can't imagine calling a relative to invite them to my baby shower. Where is the line drawn between Evite Acceptable and Evite Inappropriate? And what order is technology in these days from formal to informal? Would we say formal invitation, telephone call, Evite, then text? What is appropriate for what? Does the age of the recipient matter? What about the location? Do we trust technology enough to deliver such an important message like a wedding or baby shower invitation?
It is said that there is something invaluable about having a tangible invitation, hand-written, and specifically addressed to you, that no other form of technology can replace. I agree with that. Anything handwritten these days is precious to me, and I try my hardest to hand write as many cards and letters as I can, but it is a challenge knowing how much faster a letter can be produced on a computer, and how much more quickly it can be delivered. Have our values changed concerning time and thought in a gift? Do we value getting a message to the recipient quicker, more than the thought behind the message being sent? What drives us to be "pressed for time" or rushed in sending anything at all?
Since I have taken this course and analyzed technology from an entirely different standpoint, I have realized how little I communicate face-to-face, and how much more I value time spent with someone as apposed to with their profile.