Do you reach for Phonebook or Facebook?

I have been aware lately of the control that my my technology has over me, and also of how my relationships, both family and friends, have been affected by my Facebook or Blackberry habits. I admit, I automatically check my profile every time I log onto the Internet, almost as if my fingers type it into the address bar without me even thinking about it. It is a bad habit that I have only noticed recently.
I normally don't have a problem with Facebooking people or old friends you have lost contact with over the years. I actually think it was a great idea for students to be able to connect with other students at their college or in their classes with little effort. I appreciated it my second year in college, when it was new, and you actually needed to be enrolled in a university and have a school account to log in. Now, I find myself questioning the people I actually accept as "friends" and wondering about how real people are all together. It is easy to ask someone for lunch on a web page, and back out just as easily. Or to be fake and ask someone how they are doing, when it is not genuine concern, just boredom that leads you to their profile.
I think it is great to be able to post pictures and to keep others updated on information or events that have happened in your life, but are we really saying that picking up a phone is too difficult? Is sending pictures to a friend too much of a hassle these days? Is reaching for a phonebook and dialing a number too much effort to ask a friend to lunch? If so, I am worried where our personal relationships are headed in the next five years.
Last Sunday, I was online researching for a paper I was writing, and of course, I was logged into my Facebook account on another window. I noticed a flashing New Message sign and so I clicked on to see who was online. A cousin that I had not seen for several years until recently when I had run into her during Sundance, who had requested me as a friend only weeks before,had sent me a message.
"Did you hear the bad news?"
I hesitantly wrote back, "Oh no, what bad news?"
Immediately she responded, "Cody died."
I was floored. Our cousin who was a year younger than us, had died. And I found out over Facebook.
I had no idea what to write back. What do you write to that? I wouldn't even know what to say let alone write. I wrote back,
"I can't believe this. Be strong, Ive gotta go. I'll talk to you later."
I hurried and logged off, saved my paper, and called my grandmother.
"Hello?"
"Gram? This is Britt. What is going on?"
"Nothing much, darling. How are you?"
"I just talked to Taylor. What happened! Why didn't you call me?!", I cried.
"We just found out, honey! Not even an hour ago! I was going to call you, but my phone has been ringing off the wall. Now how did you find out? Who did you talk to?"
I paused, "Taylor. She Instant Messaged me on Facebook."
"She what on where?" My grandmother sounded so confused. It was then that I realized that she probably had no idea what Facebook was or how I even get an Instant Message, or how the heck Taylor and I were even talking, knowing it had been almost a decade since we had seen them.
I tried to explain Facebook, and how you can send messages to each other, and how she told me through it, but all my grandma got out of it was, "You found out on your computer?! She could have at least had the decency to call you."
And I realized, she was right. A phone call was in order.
I sat there and thought about how normal Facebook and computer conversations are to our generation and how little we are phased by types of communication. The faster the better, the least effort applied the better, the less verbal communication the better, really. It shocked me to think that in this day and age, we are to the point where I could find out over a computer program and profile page that my dear cousin had passed away. And I was surprised to find out that I was angry. It made me question her technology relationships, my technology values, and what boundaries I was going to set up to filter my Facebook or Internet chat. What is acceptable to "say" online? What news is "phone-worthy"? I have heard of countless divorces through Facebook, that many people consider gossip, but no one is angry when you spread news about an engagement. Why is a divorce any more of gossip than a marriage? I have heard of countless babies being born to my friends online, so why is death different to me? Is it the negative aspect of a situation that makes us think it needs to be more personally delivered? Where do we draw a line between appropriate and inappropriate online conversation content? It is a grey line that Im sure we will all cross at one point to one person over something. Then question is when and where and to what extreme.

Relationships and Media

This a blog about our relationships in this day and age and how technology has enhanced or deteriorated our closeness to one another.
It is an interesting subject for me because I have been blissfully unaware of how technology has impacted my life up to this point. I have been a follower of trends, a buyer of "must-haves", and a listener to whoever the crowd says has authority on technology. I have become victim to texting, laptop-time, and all around Internet surfing.
The more I read, the more afraid I get that I am being ran by my technology, instead of the other way around. This is a discovery blog to stretch my thinking, become aware of my current surroundings, and to identify and better understand my media.